“You are not going out looking like that?!” The stinging statement that parents of embarrassed and super critical teens hear accompanied by rolling eyes, wrinkled nose and impassioned sighs.
At dinner recently, my girl friend was wearing stunning new double drop earrings. As we complimented her, she revealed that as she left her house that night, her teenage daughter commented, “Who do you think you are wearing those earrings? Angelina Jolie?”
I can relate. My MN Teens are embarrassed by how I speak, how I act, how I dress and pretty much how I breath! And they are not embarrassed to disparage me with sarcasm or simply smirk. All the acts I quite successfully performed before I had teenagers, are now open for critical coverage: I am picked apart like a member of the reality television show entitled My Super Embarrassing Ninja Mom. The theme of the show is to point out how inarticulate and imbecilic I am while highlighting what a fashion faux pas I am. During commercial breaks from the program, MN Teens are not too embarrassed to ask for anything that they want, including: to pick them them up from a friend’s house late at night, to drive my car, to use my credit cards, to have me pay for guitar lessons, or to buy tickets for Coachella.
On a recent episode of My Super Embarrassing Ninja Mom filmed on holiday in Israel, I purchased a pretty and colorful rolling bag to do my shopping at the local plaza where the neighborhood fruit vendor, deli, market and bakery are all located. For years, I had carried heavy bags home and wasted plastic bags. My new rolling bag was a beautiful panacea, but my MN Teens made fun of me! They insulted my bag! They even insulted the sun glasses that I wore to go shopping.
If Angelina Jolie were photographed by the paparazzi shopping with this bag and wearing the same sunglasses in the South of France with Pax and the rest of her children in tow, my MN Teens would see this picture with completely wondrous eyes. I love the irony here. One day in the near future, Angelina’s 6 cute children will all turn into teenagers who will find her – their mother – to be completely embarrassing and please note that she will have 6 critical, sarcastic and smirking Mutant Ninja Teens. Now, this would be a reality show I would actually enjoy tuning in to watch!