It is 7pm when I escape.
The printer is jammed and my son’s school form marked DUE TOMORROW waits to be filled out; and yet I drive off and do not look back! I completely ignore the part of my brain that nudgingly asks, How can you leave leave your family on a school night? And instead, I channel the other lobe that screams, Hell no, just go!!!
After abandoning 3 Mutant NInja Children and a husband, I crawl across the city in the middle of rush hour traffic to celebrate my beautiful Ninja Girlfriend’s birthday. Sitting alone in the quiet car, I begin to relish in my hard earned independence and question why I don’t do this more often!
10 Reasons that Ninja Moms need to embrace Girls Night Out…..
1. It is a valuable opportunity for a midweek Ninja Mom Clean Up: I shed my old sweatpants and dress up in real people’s clothing; I look in the mirror and put on a bit of make – up; and I am quickly reintroduced to the hidden me!
2. Husbands do not really miss their wives. Mine is truly happy to read the newspaper and flip the channels on the television between a basketball game and a dramatic, crusader, psychopathic, revolutionary, loud and violent program.
3. Mutant Ninja Family still eats a healthy dinner: I just plan it before I leave; I do not serve any of them; and thankfully I do not hear any complaints about the food’s quality or taste.
4. Mutant Ninja Children are busy with homework, guitar practice or FaceBook study. Once they have eaten their dinner, my MN Teens usually nest in their rooms anyways.
5. Mutant Ninja Children realize that their Ninja Mom has a life outside the family: my kids surprisingly discern that I have my own friends and my own social life.
6. Mutant Ninja Girlfriends are served food and drink in a restaurant with real people in the middle of the week – how civilized! It is a luxury spending a few hours laughing, bitching
and complaining with my Ninja Moms: not unlike like Carrie and her friends in Sex In The City. Our version – Ninja Moms in the City!- is contemporary and real: we can spend a whole meal toasting, debating and digesting teenagers and husbands.….Even my birthday Ninja Mom has a date for the evening with our good looking and single waiter.
7. Ninja Mom’s Night Out is a free pass to eat and enjoy: we eat bread (usually too many carbs!); we devour fries (usually too much fat!); and we enjoy dessert (usually too much sugar!). On this night, one of my Ninja Girlfriends refrains from eating sugar for a completely different reason. She is in the middle of a bet with her MN College Son: she will not eat sugar and he will not smoke pot. Not even a box of See’s Chocolate tempts her. The lengths we go to as parents! I do hope her son is keeping up his end of the bet 3000 miles away?
8. Ninja Mom’s Night Out is the perfect face-to-face to indulge in the latest gossip and divulge travel, culinary, literary and cinematic recommendations (a well deserved break from texting and emailing that has taken over our lives). Most exotic travel: Vietnam and Cambodia. Best books: The Invisible Bridge (Vintage Contemporaries) by Julie Orringer. Best movie: The Decendents. Best Home Rental: Crazy, Stupid Love.
9. Ninja Moms do not roll their eyes and do not crinkles their forehead (and no, this is not due to Botox injections); and Ninja Moms do not tell me that what I say is stupid and do not shriek that I do not understand (I am so happy for this validation!).
10. Ninja Moms’ Night Out is wonderful. It greatly reduces one’s need for therapy: it is very productive, definitely more satisfying and a lot less expensive even when you share the cost of the gift and the dinner!