Polling. Polling. Polling.
These days, the moods and activities of the American people are accompanied by poll that are high, polls that are low, polls that conflict and polls that are delivered by journalists who are professional ‘Know It Alls.’
Here are some interesting Maternal Polling results:
Financial Regulations – Polling data shows that I definitely range between 84% and 97% when I deliver allowance in a timely manner, reimburse CVS and bookstore purchases, buy Starbucks and Fro Yo cards, and support wardrobe enhancement. My polling dives between 22%-31% in times of crisis: a few days before the end of the month when there is a bank account in over-draft or there is a concert that I will not buy tickets for on a school night.
A Childs Right To Choose – Polling goes way up when I allow my children the right to watch tv mid-week, chose what dinner is being served and attend a party at an unknown person’s house. Truthfully I poll in the mid 50% range as I quite infrequently offer my children most of these freedoms. I am a hardliner.
Healthcare Access – MommyCare – Here the polling shows stable consensus – I poll in the high 90% range: I pay all medical bills on time, I arrange doctors appointments, attend to sick children, make chicken soup and lose sleep at night when illness reigns. I have kept my commitment over the last 20 years to clean projectile vomit, ice and heat aches and pains and massage soar necks and backs.
Jobs and Economic Issues – I strongly endorse my children’s inevitable right and need to work during vacations. On these issues I poll in the low 30% – most of my children remain happily un-employed. They cannot seem to find jobs that suit them – one child actually had a paying job and thankfully saved my abysmal polling numbers from negative digits. I definitely cannot be accused of flip-flopping in this area.
Residential Clean Up – My motto here is ‘No kid left behind!’ I strongly advocate that children make their beds, pick up clothes from the floor, hang wet towels, and wash dishes. When assessing the mood of the children on these issues, I poll weak with a 22% favorable rating, and yet my ‘parental messaging consistency’ delivery has very strong 88% polling figure with a 2% margin of error.
Over All Job Performance – When my children are content, satisfied and everything is working in their perceived favor, my polling reflects this mood and rewards me with amazingly high results – over 90%. But the minute the mood of the offspring being polled turns dark and full of clouds and their desired needs are not immediately being taken care of, my poll ratings plummet into the low teens.
Based on my fluctuating and inconsistent polling results, I am very happy that my job as mother does not require me to run for re-election every 4 years! Besides if I had to hit the campaign trail, who would run the house?