Close the fucking door you fucking idiot!

This was one of the phrases out of my son’s mouth when he was about 17 years old. Ouch! 

Did I actually give birth to this monster? Well, the answer is a resounding ‘YES’.

And as I asked around, other lovely Ninja Mothers admitted that they had created Mutant Ninja Teens with similar vocabularies, scripts and outbursts. I was not alone. I knew I was guilty of passing along plenty of bad habits to my children, but even a phrase this derogatory was too egregious for me to be responsible for. I would remind myself over and over again that no one had the right to speak to me that way – unfortunately my MN Teen did not get that memo.

What was I to do??? He was a little too big to drag into the bathroom and wash his mouth out with soap like my father used to threaten us kids! Consequences were in place, but little seemed to have traction with him: I had already taken away his car, his blackberry and any financial subsidies. He still attended school most mornings. Professionals all agreed it was a stage and he would shortly ‘grow out of it.’ This is where I began to use the words, Glacial Speed to refer to my MN Teenage Son’s development as I tried to patiently await the day when he would ‘grow out of it!’

I will continue to fill this Blog with stories about MN Teen Son, but something amazing happened the other day: he turned 19 and I realized that he was a nice person to be around: he had become thoughtful, more articulate and he returned to the historical warm and delicious hugs of yesteryear. He is still rough around the edges which I have to concede to the fact that his is a male, but the boy I lost to adolescence in a big way is coming home. And even with the Glacial Speed, my son has finally begun to ‘grow out of it!’

Ninja Mom

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